Sunday Check-In #4: Off = “blah”

An interesting piece of check-in…. And interesting week?? The check-in should help…right?

How does it help me?

  • I get wrapped up in things. I forget to ask where I am.
  • I sometimes bounce-back too quick. I don’t register what I learned from the last thing.
  • I forget what I’ve done. Because I’ve moved onto something else, I don’t look back.
  • new!: None of the above!
  • new!: All of the above!

Sunday Check-In #4: Off = “blah”

What happened between Jan 19 – Jan 2

What went well?

There are times, when that is a really good question. What went well? [ playing on repeat in my mind ] And so I sit, and stare off. Meditate. Squirm. Fidget. Procrastinate and maybe take a few more sips of coffee. And still nothing comes to mind.

Something has got to have gone well!

Ahha….got it!

Living and learning

This week was a week of lessons. It was a week of realizations of what I wasn’t doing. Of what I was missing [ hind sight = 20/20 kinda stuff ].

So, the “what went well” portion, at least for this week, is under “what didn’t go well” and “what can I do better”.

Does that mean that this week really sucked?

My week did not suck

It could have been a week of horrors. And although nothing in particular stands out as “well”, nothing particularly stands out as “sucking” either. So, in that regard, not bad!

What didn’t go well?

If nothing stood out as “sucking” why force looking at what “didn’t go well”, why not skip it all together?

Reason #1: These are the lessons. The things that could have gone better.
Reason #2: The week hasn’t been that bad……no sucking, curl up in a ball and hide, paralizing traumas. More like “blah”.

A series of off days

I’ve been noticing pockets were I have no sense of humour. By Tuesday, something was “off”. I realized that I was wearing CranyPants and that I’d been wearing them for too long.

And so the next step I thought was to get rid of them. But no luck. Victoria helped me look at it another way.

@nkempinski: When you have an off day, how do you get back on the right foot?

@victoriashmoria: @nkempinski I find that *not trying* to get back on track has the highest success rate.Kicking and screaming don’t fix it.Give in for a bit.

@nkempinski: @victoriashmoria It’s was a challenge when I was on air and the mic was on. But, once the mic was off … much easier.

And so I just accepted it for the rest of the week. No struggles. I just gave in. It even inspired part of my next show.

I also went around and warned everyone that I was off, and that I may not be my chipper funny self. They all took it well…I think.

A series of mad scrambles

Until Friday, every day was a mad scramble. My on-air shift, my homework, my assignments. I didn’t fail anything, which is a good thing. But I didn’t come close to my normal standards either.

teacher: Nick, I think I see your direction, but the rationale in your proposal was a tad thin and consisted of just a couple of sentences…I get the impression you didn’t spend much time on this…10/20

me: Yes, it’s true, I slapped it together at the last minute…I knew it would need a lot more thought. I’m going to send you a more thorough proposal by Friday.

What can I do better

[ Are these unconnected? I think not ]

Stay Connected

For the past 2 weeks, my job was to be the Program Director. [ the big kahuna, the big cheese, the dude in charge, the fix it man, etc… ] However, I was also, on-air from 12-3:30pm.

When I came out of my show, hardly anyone was left at the station.

And so I couldn’t do the rounds. I couldn’t hear peoples stories, find out how their day way. If I couldn’t find out their problems, how was I going to make tomorrow better for them? How was I going to do my job?

I couldn’t.

And then I realized…

Part of what I do is listen. I love listening to stories from others. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I help. Sometimes listening is helping.

This is one of those things I do naturally. It doesn’t matter if it’s part of my job or not. Part of my “off”, was I wasn’t listening to people. Talking with people.

I was isolated.

I need people.

Stay Inspired

I made an observation yesterday that was interesting.

@nkempinski: Odd… Somewhere along the line I stopped watching TED videos. My blogging stopped ’round the same time. Is that a coincidence? Hmmm.

In my mad scramble I’ve stopped taking things in. I’m way behind on reading blogs, or tweets. I’m way behind in all those little things I could do over the holidays.

And when I did watch/read/hear them, I was starting to “feel” connected. I was starting to “feel” like I was doing something.

This could be part of “Staying connected” the stories I listen to inspire me. No matter if they are stories of walking your dog. Stories I’ve heard before. Stories I’ve read before. Stories that have no ending [ “And so…………..” ].

When I’m listening, I’m inspired.

When I’m not…..


a bit of a roller coaster week. Even the check-in feels odd. Nothing close to what I expected. No matter….

And Done.

Sunday Check-In #3: WTF??

Holy Crap! It’s Sunday again! Time to check-in.

How does it help me?

  • I get wrapped up in things. I forget to ask where I am. [ a massive red marker like check ]
  • I sometimes bounce-back too quick. I don’t register what I learned from the last thing.[ not so much this week ]
  • I forget what I’ve done. Because I’ve moved onto something else, I don’t look back.[ meh ]

This week I’ve been on a mission. I’m cutting to the point a lot quicker, so let’s get to it!

Sunday Check-In #3: WTF??

What happened between Jan 12 – Jan 1

What went well?

School

School, school, school, school

school, school, school!

Yup. That’s been the week. And it’s been awesome!

I’m running around like a mad man, sometimes not knowing where to go first. People come to me for help. I find out if people need help. I ask, I give, I receive. It’s amazing!

Being the Program Director [ a.k.a. The Boss ] is what I want to do [ note: I am not saying the only thing, or how long, the beauty of renaissance souls is this can change tomorrow ] . And for one more week, I get to do that in the safe and comfortable environment of school. I get to learn, and make mistakes.

What didn’t go well?

No Balance

What the….! Didn’t I talk about this last week? [Just a second … let me check … yup]

Still a problem.

That’s this thing about finding balance in a crazy time. You want time to do all the things you want BUT you need time to find out how to find time AND you have no time!

Viva la Revolution!

I’m surrounded by a small revolution at school. I’m waiting for sit in’s and protests signs. [“Hell no we won’t go!”, “Mandatory Stops Here!” and “I will fail and that’s o.k.”]Ya…bad.

And I’ve been asked to say something. [Um………?]

What can I do better

Get off the round-a-bout

I get caught up in the rat race, in the game of the world, and sometimes forget that it’s all my choice to be in it.

I bought the ticket and stepped on.

The reason I have no time, is that I don’t want the time or I have different priorities with my time. I’m the one choosing to do all these things at school and at the station. No one is forcing me.

Plus looky here [gasp! awe! shock!] I’m finding a couple of hours to do a sunday check-in. How is that possible!? [ thick like peanut butter sarcasm is always lost in the written word. you may have only seen a thin amount, but I assure you, it’s dripping ]

When in doubt wait longer

I don’t have to do anything right now. I can wait. If “um” is my answer, perhaps it’s a sign that I don’t have one right now.

Sometimes there is no reason to force and answer.

Our brains are incredible. Little super computers that process things quietly in our subconscious. Sometimes we forget that we need to trust it.

Sometimes about the “tick, tock, tick” forces our hand

But stop! breath! take your time!

If my mind is saying nothing [blink blink] or “Um….” the I have no answer. And so I will wait longer.


And done.

Sunday Check-In #2: The Week

Big changes in my life. Back to school. As Danielle put it I went from “60 to 0″ and now I’ve gone from 0 back to 60. Very disorienting. This is the kind of week which is why I wanted the check-in. [ What happened? ]

And based off of feedback, the asides stay, and the little links go.

So here we go


What happened between Jan 5 – Jan 11?

What went well?

School

Monday was the first day back at school. Loads of laughter and high fives [ I’m sure there were even few dabs or pounds, or whatever they call them these days [man age kicks in from time to time] ]. It’s a good feeling to be back doing something I love.

The Boss Man

The way our Radio program works is that you have class as well as run the radio station [ insert plug here: www.evolution1079.com ]. Class in the morning, station in the afternoon.

We get our assignments as to which department [ on air, production, news, writing, sales, promotions ] and who’s the director of each department. We then work out the schedule for the next six weeks. I am the Program Director (PD) for the next two weeks [ the big kahuna, the big cheese, the fix it man, … ].

That’s a great thing.

Here’s the part where I explain a little more about being the PD. So far it’s the one job that uses every aspect of my talents. I’m thrilled and frustrated by it. I feel on top of the world and like a nobody. In a single day there is a roller-coaster [ mostly of things going the way they should followed by something going wrong causing complete and utter havoc. ]. It is amazing! And I’m never bored [ ay, there’s the rub ].

What didn’t go well?

Too Much

Perhaps here in lays the lesson of be careful what you wish for. Because being the one in charge has me on the rampage of meetings and fixing things and finding answers. Oh, did I forget to mention that I’m the web guy, and the designer guy? I keep my ear out for music, I help out sales, oh ya, and the PD also has a daily on-air show to do?!!?!!

Now where do I fit my life in? How about the blogging and keeping up on feeds and tweets?

On one hand, it’s all me. I’m pushing myself too much and too far [ I’m trying to be the ultimate warrior of radio ] On the other I’m going crazy because of it. I starting to feel at times there is no me only school.

Enter in my next point

No Balance

Well in retrospect, this one stands out like smashing my thumb with a hammer and dipping it in acid. [ Yup, that’s a sore thumb ].

I feel like I’m in constant catchup mode. And that’s not cool with me!

Were is the line? I’ve got school and career. I’ve got personal and “work” [ school and work are kinda interchangeable. I treat both the same ]

Ultimately my personal life is suffering. Which some might argue that short term pain is for long term gain. But if I don’t get my “me” time. I get very, very, very, cranky.

What can I do better?

Have some lunch

I think something simple like walking away in the middle of the day would be good. If I think about it, I don’t do this often. Actually, I think in the week I only did this once.

I need to walk away. For 30 minutes to a full hour. Just not to do it. To relax. To chill. To max and relax. Plus if I don’t, how will I sound on air?

There is something rejuvenating about a real break. And I need more of them!

Go Home

Along with Lunch, I need to walk away at 5:00pm. I can’t be going until 6:00pm or 7:00pm. No matter how much I do, there is always more to do the next day.

Hi I’m Nick Kempinski and I’m a workaholic

[ FYI: being a workaholic has never really happened to me before, but I guess that would go under good thing, because it’s proof that I have passion ]


And done.

Sunday Check-In #1: The First

I’m taking a page from Havi Brooks. Every Friday she does a check-in[ or should I say chicken. I don’t get the joke, but she and selma thinks its funny ] Now, I admit I haven’t gone back through all 22 yet, but what I have read has been a catalyst for me.

How does it help me?

  • I get wrapped up in things. I forget to ask where I am.
  • I sometimes bounce-back too quick. I don’t register what I learned from the last thing.
  • I forget what I’ve done. Because I’ve moved onto something else, I don’t look back.

My format

For the layout I’m taking a lesson from one of my favourite Leadership teachers. [ who doesn’t appear on the web anywhere, so she can remain a mysterious teacher. Think of her like an ancient wise one who ends up turning into smoke and vanishing. Was she real you might ask? ] She asked 3 questions at the beginning of every class: What went well? When didn’t go well? what can you do better?

So here we go


Sunday Check-In #1: The First

What happened between Dec 29 – Jan 4?

What went well?

This Blog

I’m really starting to feel a benefit from this blog.

I’ve been dabbling with blogs for several years and haven’t felt I’ve been succeeding as a “blogger”. I’ve been trying to fit everything I do into one single blog. When I do, my marketing/radio mind says, “Hold up! You don’t have a point! People will get confused. [ Should that icon be corn flower blue? ]

In my mind it start a little war debating the freedoms of creativity and natural flow, against the logical targeted and purposeful direction for media and business professionals. Translation: I become a cat chasing my tail.

So I broke the cycle. Spawning blogs as I feel the need. [ I feel like I could be the rabbit of the blogging world ] I’ve got a great webhost with loads of space, why not!

I’m still not the awesomest blogger ever. I don’t have millions flocking to my every word. I’m still muddling my way through. But those don’t matter because ultimately

I’m really starting to feel a benefit from this blog.

ether+nick

Tying in with the point of spawning [^], I’ve revamped ether+nick to my media mind. We’ll see where it takes me. I’m excited to see where it goes.

Time Off

I’m a full time student at BCIT. I’m taking the Radio Broadcast program. The tempo is lightning quick. And so you never feel like you’ve had a weekend or any time off. This holiday has been a wonderful, beautiful time to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing. [ FYI: I love doing nothing – and I mean nothing. I’ve done week long meditations and fasts. So a day here and there … a walk in the park]

The quiet has allowed me to jot down everything racing inside my head. All my master plans, and the minor ones too. Get them out so I can look at them on a piece of paper in front of me. [ Some surprise me when I see them written. In my head I thought they were brilliant. And no! there were no substances used in this process other then coffee. ]

What didn’t go well?

Time Off [ That damn double edge sword ]

There is only so much nothing I can take. Sure I said I can last a week, but this is the end of a month. At some point this week [ let’s say wednesday ], I cracked. And instead of breaking out and doing something, I slid further and further into just-down-right-lazy. Did I even get out of my chair on friday? Did I eat? I know I drank some coffee? [ I am a koala wrapped around my tree high on eucalyptus. ]

Lucky for me, I’ve got no choice but to brush off the cob webs. It’s back to school tomorrow. [ That’s not a “not going well”, that’s a f@#!’n great! ]

Pains and Aches

I believe that there needs to be balance in everything we do. The universe does it, we should to. But I struggle with the body part – always have. And something about 31, my body is smacking me upside the head. It’s breaking down with pains and aches I never thought could exist.

Probably related to the koala like behaviour [^].

Now that I think of it, it could also be the fall on the ice earlier this month.

What can I do better?

Remember “Baby Steps”

I always need to remind myself of the classic lesson of baby steps. A little every day. I know of the lesson, and yet when I get to it, I get karmic road rage. I feel stuck behind a sunday driver. I peel by and honk my horn ( and yes, sometimes I give the finger.)

[ and yes, I know that in this analogy I am both drivers in effect giving myself the finger ]

Remember “Ebb and Flow”

Just because I’m not going forward doesn’t mean I’m not moving. Again, classic lesson of one step forward three steps back, blah blah blah blah [ Hear the audio being muffled “Charlie Brown” style. I hear the volume being slowly turned down ( it’s a radio thing ) ] ( more karmic road rage on this one too )

This check-in

Well, in the sense of remembering [^], this weekly check-in is exactly the answer to what can I do better. If I forget the lessons or, I zoom by things in my rocket ship, then by stopping for a second to do this check-in, I won’t stray too far. I hope.


And done.

Question: My brain works with the asides, and I like them. Are they distracting? Is there a better way to format them? Leave a comment and let me know. ]