Weeknotes

Tried to flex some digital art since my last weeknotes… and no, this one isn’t mine, it’s by Marek Pavik, and I found it on Unsplash.

Why? I’m a fragile artist.

Along the way I discovered a few things:

I remember, I am an artist

Just writing that, and posting it online for the world to see oddly feels scary. But why? I have been an artist in some fashion my whole life. In my 20’s I self published poetry books and zines. I was a union card holding musician. I drew. I wrote. I yelled at the top of my lungs “Look at me create! I dare you to stop me!”

And then… I stopped.

Food. Rent. Bus Pass.
Car. Insurance. Phone Bills.
Cable. TV. Internet. Computer.
Family. Mortgage.
Diapers. Toys.
Provide. Summer Camps. Swimming Lessons.
Toys. Oh the Toys.
Care for others. Take care of others.

One of the classic nay saying phrases from even personal help book on the planet ringing in my head, “Art doesn’t pay for these things.”

But it could.

Geek & art is complex

A while back I removed windows from all my personal computers. I switch every non work computer to Linux ( Ubuntu for those curious ). And that fared well until… well… this.

Turns out Adobe and Affinity don’t do Linux. So that digital art… there are ok alternatives. I’ve been adjusting fine to Inkscape. Haven’t done any full photo editing yet, to really hunker into the choices that work for me.

Audio and Linux are overly complex. It does show how much magic is required for good digital sound. I have yet been able to figure out how to get music to sound as good as it should. Drivers, hack on hack on hack. And while I can do it, why do I even have to?

I haven’t even gotten into real audio editing. I am a well trained Adobe Audition editor, and I’ve had to hobble on Audacity a few times. And it ended up…ok. Again… I could do it… but why did I even have to?

Need to get back …

Again cliché, but it’s time to get back. Create. Try something different. Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks.

Practice. Experiment. Find time for it. Nurture it.

Maybe then, I’ll feel brave enough to share it… again.

I want to work on trying to think more like a marathon runner.

Perhaps it’s the ADHD, perhaps it’s the situation I’m in.

I tell my kids all the time of The Tortoise and the Hare. I say to myself, I’m not the hare because I’m not cocky and rarely nap. But…

Maybe I’m hare-like. I do these insane short bursts. I do everything. I run and I run so fast that I crash. My crashes are mostly mentally and emotionally, which my wife loves 🤨

Also, when I’m in my particular position I say yes to everything, what else am I doing? I make a mountain pile on my shoulders so big… then a subtle wind from life, let’s say a little girls upcoming 4th birthday party, and down it all crumbles.

I need to get back to simple, slow and, steady.

I’ve been trying to flex the brain a bit more since my last weeknotes.

Orality and Ong

I’ve continued my journey comparing today’s world with Ong’s characteristics of an oral culture:

• Empathetic and Participatory Rather than Objectively Distanced
• Aggregative rather than analytic
• Redundant or ‘copious’

It’s coming along. I’m enjoying some of the interesting things I’m connecting with. Still not sure how to tie a bow on all of this. However, That’s the reason for the exercise, to explore.

ActivityPub

I’ve also continued my exploration of what could be an ActivtyPub platform for me to tinker on all AP idea’s. I’ve taken months to hunt and try a bunch of possibilities out. They are all are really good in their own way, but to me, feel like I’m strong arming what I want it to do. So… I’ve started and stopped and started and stopped, and now I’m started again to do the silly thing, and build something for me and my own brain.

• Using PHP – because everyone has a server for PHP. Plus it’s the simplest for my hosting and my budget, which should be no more than I’m already spending on hosting.
• Using Slim PHP – because I want to keep this light. Laravel and Symphony are great, but overkill at the moment. If this becomes “a thing”, then a rebuild would be in the cards, but that’s a 2.0 or 3.0 problem.
• ActivityPub first – this is where I’ve found my mental problems. Many implementations feel like you’re always fighting some dissonance with a core foundation. It’s an extension, a plugin, a layer it on top of.. all of which work… but… not quite what I’m looking for.

• Up and down and up and down
• a flip; a pissed away day
• twiddle the thumbs
• clean the house and never succeed
• stare at a squirrel climbing a tree
• reconsider mostly everything
• journal, blog, post
• feel great about the time I have
• sad about my indecision and paralysis
• spend too much time on things
  • what else am I doing?
• hunt for something to do

That’s been my week.

AKA: More like bi-monthly.. now with the option of daily

I’ve been temporarily laid off. You could call it a furlough ( though no one ever used that term ).

A string of bad luck in the world of startups. They’ll call me back if they can. We just don’t know when.

Oh whoa is me… boo hoo boo hoo.

My cheese was moved

If anyone knows me, I’m the world of “who moved my cheese“, I’m not the one who’s sitting back. I lean forward and move.

It’s time to ( in no particular order ):

• clean the house ( seriously… I’m going into housekeeper dad mode )
• wallow for a teensy moment while watching some Sci-fi
• ponder the mysteries of universe and reconsider the place I want to be in it
• Write ( aka this blog )
• Give’er 🇨🇦

Any plans?

Not yet. After all it’s only day 1. I will trust my golden horseshoe and whim.

• What does that look like right now 🤷
• What does that look like next week 🤷
• What does that look like next month 🤷