Month: September 2006

  • Wallowing


    Where have I been? I’ve been sitting on my couch and doing sweet FA. Why? Because
    I felt like it. To be honest, I’ve been in a funk. It’s not about earth shattering
    events in life. I haven’t gone through heart shattering events. Sometimes, I think,
    we all just hear a little “snap” inside. Could be burn-out, could be a string of
    unfortunate events, or it could simply be the way the wind is blowing or the
    weather outside. Sometimes a little sweet FA is what the doctor ordered.

    Some might consider this wallowing, and they might be right. I thought it was
    wallowing. At first, my reaction towards my instincts, were that is was
    counter-productive. Wallowing doesn’t do any good but change my point of view to
    see all the crappy things. But then the thought occurred, maybe that’s what I
    needed. In the world of improvement, to ignore the bad, is the best way to build
    your own little invisible brick wall that will ultimately have your journey slam
    to a stop. You won’t know why, or how, or where it came from, but when you hit
    it, it will hurt bad. To improve, the bad must be looked at. We need to know when
    we are beating a dead horse, or even worse, riding one. I think the only way to
    really know for sure, it to put on the brown goggles, and look around you.

    Not only that, but it’s like the blues. It’s called the blues because it’s
    …well…blue: “My baby left me”; “I’m in a broke down motel”; “I got no money”.
    Admitting it all, somehow makes you appreciate the beauty of the music. For some
    odd reason, realizing how much bad, makes you appreciate that a) your still
    kicking around and b) that through it all, there is still good.

    Is my wallowing over? maybe, maybe-not. I’ll have some more ice-cream and decide.