First day on the job…again

Well today ends the first day back in the company I left so long ago, actually only 6 months. Getting the phone set up, email working, applications installed, making the imprint into the chair, cleaning the desk, that was pretty much the day. I did some signing of some documents and some going around to say “hello”. SuperPages has gone through some changes, but I think in a whole I’ll get back in the groove as usual, after all it was my groove for 5 years previous.

It was definitely a surreal feeling. It felt familiar like going to the town you grew up in. But at the same time, it was a new town. I guess the best kind of analogy might be, your home town has changed it’s name. Or maybe your home town community used to be a lot of 20 somethings who’ve know grown up to 30 somethings and the feeling isn’t the same. Maybe the local night club has been torn down. Maybe since they closed the university, it just doesn’t feel the same. Regardless, it’s an odd feeling that you only need to go through yourself to really understand.

A sense of security even if falsely placed can open up some new drives and passions. It’s funny how with the past month, tension and stress has been building to the point of paralysis. I’m sure in our lives we’ve all felt it. I’m also sure it won’t be the last. It’s that point where stress builds to the point where a little snap goes off in your head. And instead of allowing your primal instincts of survival kick in, it becomes an, “oh well, time to die”. You give up. Rather then do what you should, you sit back and wait for the inevitable blow of death to strike you. Why should you be in full panic when it ends, why not be in a state of calm bliss?

Well, I’m hoping that today is my end of that. I know have a false sense of security. I know that I’ll get money. I know that I’ll have benefits. I know that things are turning around and will be alright.