What happened between Feb 22 – March 15
Bye-bye Format [ for now … I think ]
First thing is first – screw the format. There is no what went well, what didn’t go well, and what can I do better. I may or may not bring it back.
Why?
It doesn’t always suit the check in.
Sometimes a ramble is what’s needed, and it might all be good, and it might all be bad. And as I’ve been told on more then one occasion, “that’s o.k.”
Something had to give
And that was blogging, twitter, nights out, conersing with people… all things social.
I was not a social butterfly. I had no energy to converse with folks [ though I wasn’t completely mute ], and when I needed to, I’m sure it wasn’t my captivating chipper self.
Most put up with it, and friends really came through and shined. And again I was told on more then one occasion, “that’s o.k.”
The crazy book
I forgot about a process I did when I was younger. I had a desk, and I would vandalize it [ it was mine…why not ]
I had scratches and marker all over the thing. When I wasn’t sure, or down, I would just draw on it. I called it my venting chest.
But it never made it out west with me.
So, now enter the crazy book…
It’s a large black book of empty blank paper. And on each page is layers of scratches and rambles. I let the pen run wild. And there are times when it’s fluid and bubble like. Other times like lightning and tornadoes.
I don’t sensor, I don’t judge, the hand just goes.
And the lessons come.
It reminds me of all those things I wanted to get done, but were pushed down so many times they almost drowned.
It shifts priorities. If something keeps cropping up, and I originally though it wasn’t a big deal…it becomes a big deal.
And to boot, when I’m done pouring out my guts onto paper, I feel better. I feel o.k. again.
A little escapism
To counteract my overwhelming feelings of the week, I realised that I went down the TV rabbit hole a little.
Picked up on all the shows I had missed, wanted to watch, never started.
But the nice thing was, I didn’t turn on my TV once. All online, all through the comuter and all at my convenience [ CTV and Space have it down. Hulu isn’t international friendly { I’m not even going to link to them, that how angry I am at that } ].
By golly I like it.
Was this good or bad? Neither. It’ o.k. I just needed some time to force myself to stop thinking, stop wallowing, and really take a break.
TV was just the tool to do it.
Body Break
I’ve written several times about trying to balance things when being a renaissance soul. When you aren’t, the world can crumble down like a deck of cards.
I’ve been playing 52 card pick-up. [ sometimes it feels like 520 card pick-up ]
My energy level has been low, I’ve been in a bit of pain, and very cranky. Why? It’s the physical part of balance. [ you know … the actual thing that does the real life balancing on two feet teetering your head on you neck, making sure you don’t fall flat on your face ]
My body is just screaming at me. [ always has … me and the body part of balance never got along ] And so I’ve been falling flat on my face [ figuratively and literally ]
And so we’ve been having a good talk: me and my body.
So, while I’m not going to do the diet things, and the calorie counting stuff, I am going to at least stock my cupboards and fridge with things that are G.I. friendly.
So, that way, no matter what I decide to slap together in a rush, I know that it’s o.k.
Anything else?
I’m sure there are loads of other things that happen. After all, it’s been 3 weeks. Internship hunts and interviews. Job seeking. Documentary organizing. And Future planning.
Nothing is ever stagnant, even though, at times, I want them to be.
End of line,
New command [ FYI: Battlestar next week should be awesome! ]
And Done