Author: Nick Kempinski

Just coding coding coding. Keep coding coding coding. That seems to be the only thing I’m doing lately. It takes thousands upon thousands of lines of code to get to the point where I want to be. It’s like a mountain climber looking at a mountain that’s just that little bit too high. This kind of mountain is definitely going to need the rope.
They say to expand your self by biting off more then you can chew. You need to shoot for the stars because if you only shoot for the end of the road you will always get there and never have to try new things to do so. Well I’m starting to feel the frustration of shooting for the stars. My little project of course is taking longer…way longer then I ever anticipated, but it’s baby steps. The sad thing is I don’t even have anything in the outside world to show my progress. Oh well, I’ll get there.

Mind you out of all of this turmoil I’ve come to the conclusion that apache mod_rewrite is the coolest thing in the whole wide world. I haven’t even begun and I’m only at the tip of the iceberg, but if you get a chance, give it a shot.

December blah’s have been hitting. Haven’t really been feeling so hot lately. Not too sure why. I think today is better. Got some things off my shoulders and now I think I’m actually starting to make progress on my little secret site. It’s not really a secret. And for someone who is looking at being out there and open it’s not really a good idea for me not to say anything.

Well the site is wherestheshow.com it’s going to be an event calendar. Right now it’s not much of anything, but on my localhost it’s starting to come somewhere. Mind you it’s taking forever!! I just need to keep taking in big breathes and remind myself of baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps.

I’ve been looking everywhere to see if I can find a decent theme for MoinMoin. I really like the functionality but you can definately tell that It’s build by programmers. I mean there aren’t any nice looking themes. Sure the MoinMoin site itself has the new modern theme, but is it available yet? No, of course not. It’s only going to be available in the newer version. But, still, it’s not going to do what I want. So, I’m here trying to figure out and learn not only python, but also try and figure out how to develop for MoinMoin’s architecture and framework.

I really should be working on my other projects but my own site is bugging me. Really it should resemble what I want to embody as an entity on the interbaun-baun. I mean, really, it should say I’ve done some design and a bit of programming.

But one step at a time. I’ve gotten this far with the style. Which surprisingly is better then others I’ve seen out there. Can anyone compete with this theme? Are there any other MoinMoin themes which you think could kick this ones design ass? Anyone, anyone? Buhler?

No Pressure. Non, what-so-ever. Nope.

Oh man! This is a little on the tough side. I’m working on my project which will hopefully be a good thing. But I had a personal deadline of having it done 2 days ago! Sure the first day after I was a little upset, but now I’m really cheesed.

Deadlines are funny things. Especially when I’m the one making and meeting them. It’s tough on you’re own. How do we make and meet our own deadlines. I find it interesting that some are really good at it, and others, namely me, really suck at it. Where does it stem from? How do we meet them?

It all comes down to urgency. I’m not sure if it’s my past pressurized work place, but I don’t feel it anymore. I know it’s there, and as I look at the bank account and around at my life, I know I should have it but I don’t. I look at friends and family who do, and it comes down to the almost paralyzing feeling they get about urgency. They know it to the bone and it seems almost life and death. Which is what get’s them through and to it.

How do you engage a level of urgency to ones who don’t feel it or don’t want to? You can’t pretend it’s life and death when it’s not. You can’t pretend the world is going to be blown up to bits and pieces tomorrow when it isn’t. How do you light that kind of fire?

I’m going through some of my chicken scratch that I’ve collected in my book of scribbles and came across some poetry. No relevance to anything really, I just liked it.

Kateri wraps in tight
Holds with might
She’s just fine don’t
mind the sight

Kateri’s got her quill
it’s her thrill
hematic pill
grisly thrill

benevolent malignity
persecuted generosity
masochistic clemency
sentimental agony

Kateri’s got her quill
it’s her thrill
push in tight
it has to be real

A common phrase around here is “I’m not saying, I’m just saying”. It’s a moment of expressing yourself and it’s not a moment where anyone needs to really care about what you’re saying. There isn’t even any point to what’s being said. They are sometimes just words spewing out of your mouth. It’s just a moment of steam release, kinda of link Mt. St. Helens. So, this entire post is just that. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

With all the lead up you’d probably expect something big, a big fuss and lots of edited @&%$’n language. But you’re not going to. Reason being, what is it that I have to say? I don’t even know. Here I was thinking I’m this person with lot’s of thoughts and ideas, yet when it comes down to it, I’m empty. It could be one of these down moments. You know, when you’re looking around and re-evaluating, but it doesn’t feel like that. Here I am bounding off into a brave new world, and I’m feeling empty. Not like empty as a gas tank, but empty in the brain. I’m working, or think I’m working but time goes by and nothing. Even my blogs. Where is all of this time I wanted to open up go?

Now, for those who know me, time management has never really been a strong suit of mine, matter of fact any type of organization hasn’t been even remotely close to a skill I have in my bag-o-tricks. I’m one of these big idea, scatter everything to the wind kind of guys. So…needless to say, I’ve got some learning to do.

Kind of like a lone wolf who sets out from the pack to make their own, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a lone lemming. Unlike other lemmings, I survive the fall. And what’s more, I choose to fall again. I keep falling and jumping and falling, hoping that I’m like the Pegasus of lemmings. I’ll be able to fly. Who knows one day I just might.

So it’s official, I’m an independent consultant. Last night was a total blast. Everyone was there. It was a great feeling to look around the table and see how many people came out to see me off. Boy, it felt good. Sure, right now, I’m not feeling so good, but that’s only the hangover.

Who knows what next now. I’ll figure it out along the way. But the point is I’m independent, on my own, a lone lemming. And I know no matter what happens, I always survive the fall.

It seems that my friend Daniel has made really good point about blogs and their owners,

I am willing to bet an amount of money proportionate to how important this really
is, that a greater percentage than the current divorce rate of blog entries are
not actually about anything worthwhile, but instead are rationalistic rants about
how, after some time has passed, the author of the blog has “got back on the
horse” and has decided that this time folks, from now on, he or she promises to
be good, to write in their blog every day, and that things have just been
“so hectic” that it’s hard to find the time to contribute.

And I must confess I am one of them. So here we are. I’m going to stop making
excuses. I’m going to blog when I blog, and do what I do. It’s easy for us to
tell us all of these excuses for the things we do and don’t do. Even just
reading his blog, I found myself trying to come-up with excuses in my mind, well
screw them. Screw all the excuses.

Time is speeding up faster then a sup’d up civic at an illegal street race with nitro injection. I’ve been working like a monster so that I’ve got all the loose ends tied off. I figure “go big before I go home”. Reason being, no one knows who’s going to fill my shoes. It seems that I’m so indispensable, that even when I put it all on the line, they (the infamous them) can’t seem to find a replacement. My question is, if I give 3 months, how long do you think it’s possible to find a replacement? Normally answer would be hopefully less then 3 months. Not at my work. I kinda feel bad because everyone around is freaking as to who the replacement will be, I tell them to call me boss.

This brings into play the whole idea of succession planning. At my work, they’ve got the beginnings going on, but I don’t think they’ve pushed it enough. I believe that every job requires succession planning. I might not be a team lead or manager, but guess what happens when I leave? Ask the people around me, if I should have been teaching peers or been a mentor? Succession planning isn’t for management only.

You know that sound your mother used to make as she waved her finger back and forth “Tisk, Tisk”. Well my metaphoric mother is doing that to me right now. Here I am, trying to share information and it’s been too long scion I’ve posted. I guess you could say I fell off the wagon, but did I really. I might not have posted it, but since my last post I had the pleasure of reading “Values Shift” by John B. Izzo and Pam Withers. It was on or local chapters Company of Friends, and like always I didn’t really notice it until afterwards. And I thought hey…why not. WOW! I don’t normally do the all caps thing but WOW!

Here I was thinking that me going off to start my own business and make a difference in the world was a minority, but as I’m reading, I’m seeing so much in me in this book. As a man who cradles both generation X and Y ( X ending 1977 and Y starting 1978, with me December 77 ) I’m finding that my values aren’t of my parents and it’s because of them that it’s not. Seeing what they went through for me, deciding “no” that’s not going to be me.

The sad thing, is how many companies will actually take the serious call of the boomers leaving. It’s like the changing of the guards on a mass scale, but what if there is no guard behind you? I find I’m asking myself some serious questions and wondering, What’s the world going to look like when Generation X is those fat cat’s pulling the strings, how bout Generation Y?